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I feel like I am at the end of a very short rope. I am financially, emotionally, mentally,

show starting post by Much Love
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The Christmas Cat   in reply to Much Love
Your Welcome
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Much Love   in reply to The Christmas Cat
Wow, amazing. I clicked on one & the amount of info that came up was overwhelming. You ladies are Remarkable. Thank you!
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Much Love   in reply to woman in a shoe
Thank you. I do have a Bible. I also have a brother that is Theologic. He studied many religions & found the Eastern Orthodox Church to be the truest of all religions. This raises many more questions. My questions are mine... I throw them out there like you would pieces of a puzzle. It is natural for people to walk near a puzzle & catch where pieces go & yet if you stand over it all the pieces look the same. I have a writer's brain.... We dissect everything...

Thats how I know there is a God. That many other things. But the purpose of poverty & continuous struggling baffles me. Many things baffle me... And I think I know the answer to it but its not a One person answer. Its a Whole World Order that must take place. And sadly we are Light Years away from that understanding & possibility. So I am either too early or one of the pioneers for the movement to happen at a later date. Its lonely tho...

People think you're Godless or not of a thankful Nature. Not so. Quite the opposite. My questions about God are mine to get to know Him...This is someone I am committing to spend Eternity with, I should know everything there is too know about living with this Person of all PEOPLE. I want to know His likes & dislikes. I want to know His temperament & His moods.

I wanna know how real He is or are is He someone I made up for my own happiness. We do it daily in choosing of mates & friends. Its fair to assume we might do it with Our GOD too.
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The Christmas Cat
If a link does not work let me know which one thank you..

http://www.bill-and-other...

http://dental-help-in-eve...

http://www.Nationwide-Fre...

http://www.2hands.org/

https://www.modestneeds.o...

http://www.mealcall.org/m...

http://www.for-auto.chris...

http://low-cost-pet-help....

http://www.usa.gov/
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woman in a shoe   in reply to Much Love
Do u have a bible some of the things u ask about is in the bible like u was talking about suffer is in the bible. If u got a bible let me know and I will help u understand if u don't see me on still send me message and soon as I can I will get back to u. U take care
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Much Love   in reply to SisterServant
Yes Mam, without fail. I thank him daily and all day long. I thank Him, I pray for others believing it is so & only when I can do it belieivng it to be true. I pray for those with ill will against me and those those with less than I have, bringing me back to being grateful while asking to be in a position to help those whom I can help. I am alive, I am upright, I have a sense of humor & most my senses, a roof over my head, beautiful clothes, food in my belly & cupboards, I have a car for as long as I have it, I have a family that loves me, Kids out there that adore & love me, friends that have stood by me.

please forgive, if I sounded ungrateful or that of someone that doesn't appreciate all that God has done for me. I have been struggling Sister Servant for what might be a milisecond to God but feeling like Eternity to me. I miss my children and I don't know if I'll ever be allowed to see them again. Its not looking so good from where I stand... My thyroid keeps dropping & I'm damn grateful & blessed not to be dead or comatose but the numbers are getting scary and hormones are controlled by the thyroid gland and most days I have to force myself to do anything much the same as a young child might scrape a dead animal off the ground and think its going to puff back up and walk off.

Not only am I thankful to God and remember to thank Him but I also make it a point to thank my family for their help & their love, I thank my friends often for sticking by me during these trying times.

but in all my intellect, sinful as it may be, I question God... I question where He came from? I question if He's real or if we need Him to be real? Is He a punishing God or a loving forgiving , no pennance for going against His will kind of God? Everyone seems to have a different opinion on this. If He is a punishing God how long can I expect to be punished when I've done all that I could to repent & apologize and to make right? Is He ever sorry He went with that whole idea of Free Will? Does He ever question His own choices? If I'm not being punished than why am I struggling all the time when I have so much to offer the world to make it a better place? If He made us for suffering and to renounce this world, why are we even here? Is Heaven & Hell right here on Earth or do we have to look forward to Dante's dream of hell? Am I , are we all to worry over the sins we have committed belieiving that we are never fully forgiven? If Jesus died for are sins why is there a Hell?

There are more questions than answers. And if He could answer just ONE CLEAR AS Day with no mincing of meaning or hidden in parables question for me, it would be Why did you give me all this talent and no equally talented people in what they do to get all this greatness out. Its Your greatness, why hide it in depression and financial hardship?

I can't help that I have these questions. I wish to God I didn't. I am tormented by the things I have heard the things I have read, things I have seen and the things I don't know. The things that might be true, the things that aren't but someone thought they were. As Mark Twain said Its not the things you don't know that hurt you, its the things you do that arent so. What's real & whats not? Does anyone know? How can we? When will we? Is what's real & true for you real and true for others? Why are there so many religions if there's only One God & one way to Heaven? What gets you in and what keeps us out?

And when I thank God who am I really thanking? Is He listening? If I ask in Jesus name for what I need and it is to be given then why am I & so may other people on sites like this stressed out and reaching?

I am thankful there are sites like this. Cause I have expressed myself like this on FB at great cost, so I am very grateful to have found this site. But I for one am tired of struggling, I am tired of suffereing from depression. If there is a God and He made me in His image and likeness, does He too suffer from depression & poverty?

For these things are as much a part of me as my talents & gifts. More so I would say since I can't seem to do anything real & substantial with any of the gifts He bestowed upon me cause I'm either depressed, sick, or my money well is drier than deadwood. i would like to not question God or His existance. I would like to believe without fail & I don't even thinnk that its that I don't believe in God as I don;t understand why I'm going to this this again when He knows I'm no good at sublty.
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SisterServant
In my experience, God does not get bent out of shape because we question him. God is love. More love than we can possibly imagine. Plus, he can handle your despair and your issues since you were not there when He created the universe. He is not going to take you away from planet earth until He is ready.

Try thanking Him everyday for as many things as you can think of and see what happens. He has already heard all of your pleas and knows about everything that is wrong

Have you told him all those things for which you feel thankful? Could be that He wants to hear about those too. Make a list for yourself and then begin to thank God. We have to let God know that we trust Him irregardless...

SisterServant
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Poppyday13   in reply to Much Love
I have managed to send some more things to you , but its so slow that I will stop now and look again tomorrow.
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Poppyday13   in reply to Poppyday13
If you click on menu , then select one to one , you will find some messages from me . I need to reboot to send you more. As you are coping with so much , I am sending you everything that I can find as you can make a note of it for a later time.
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Poppyday13   in reply to Much Love
Thank you .
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Much Love   in reply to Poppyday13
yes... about 30 miles from where I'm at
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Poppyday13   in reply to Much Love
Is that near Riverside please ? I have a lot of info for Riverside
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Much Love   in reply to Poppyday13
Thank you, Poppyday13! Off to make supper.
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Much Love   in reply to Poppyday13
Menifee, California in Riverside County
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Poppyday13   in reply to Much Love
Best way to write is like you did there - as if nobody will ever read it so you can share your heart . Anyway , it seems to me - after reading your words several times - that you can't see the wood for the trees , which is understandable. So , maybe we can work together to try and tackle some of it ? You will have to do the being ill bit , and I will try and find some practical help for you ., but first I need your town and county.
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Much Love   in reply to Poppyday13
Thank you. many compliments since I was a wee one with the words. I love to write & told I have professional grade writing but when I try that my brain shuts down like an airport under quarantine. If I could stop that from happening I could probably end my financial isssues at least. Thank you for the welcome.
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Poppyday13
.......but very literate and intelligent . Welcome to the site . We cant work miracles but sometimes somebody here can help to solve a problem .
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